Thoughts

I feel like my brain cannot fully grasp all the things I should know about God and religion. I am just learning that there are so many different facets of understanding, and it seems like everything is on a razor's edge. I am rather nervous that I could easily slip off the side, and therefore I am very careful about applying new truths without sufficient scriptural backing. I guess I'm trying to figure that all out too, because I'm pretty sure lots of people can provide what they would call sufficient scriptural backing... There are so many different interpretations of scripture, and so many different perspectives which sometimes seem to define interpretation. I want to read scripture and have my perspective defined by that, instead of interpreting scripture and basing my perspective on my imperfect and not necessarily accurate interpretation.
However, this might sound like a roundabout way of saying that I don't want to specifically decide anything for fear of choosing wrongly. NO. I am not emergent, and I do long for the truth. I am so thankful for God's word, and for this specific revelation of truth. I hope I can learn to understand it more and more throughout my life.

Sometimes I feel like I am completely lost in figuring out all the little things I believe. I sort of feel like it's like choosing a facewash product from among 50-100 different ones. How do I decide which one will work the best for my face, when all of them make similar promises and I still haven't found any that perform the way they say they do. This analogy doesn't really cut it though, cause I don't pick and choose what I believe; instead I am responsible for being passionate about the full truth.

I sort of feel like I'm rambling, and I hope this post makes sense. I wish I could be clearer in my thoughts. I appreciate so much being surrounded by people who are willing to teach me and encourage me in the truth, but also who will rebuke me if required. However difficult this feels, I appreciate when my wrong thinking is exposed and defined truly by scripture.

On other thoughts, I love being married. I could not ask for a better husband, or for someone who points me to Christ so fully. I can only hope and pray that I will be the godly wife he deserves. I know I am not perfect, and will always fail, but I long to point my precious husband to Christ more than I point him to me. Christ has blessed us so much already, even through this first month of trials, and Jesus deserves all our praise. I do want to be certain that even if all the blessings Christ has poured out were removed, that I would still praise God, because HE IS SUFFICIENT.

Wow, I seem to have a lot to write. On rather mundane news, I locked my keys in my car this morning, after saying, for no apparent reason, "DJ, I should find the extra key to my car in case I lock my keys in!" I know our loving and gracious God also has a sense of humor, because within an hour I'd locked my keys in!! I was at work thankfully, and could wait there until AMA came, which was within half an hour of making my request online. It was great! If you need AMA, they respond SO FAST if you can manage to request online instead of calling.
I am so glad I can thank God for His grace in this tiny situation. I hope I can thank Him in any and every situation.
I am so thankful for Bible Study. I appreciate so much learning and growing with a group of people who long to learn and grow as well. I was thinking in my car as I was driving, how great it is that I can pray for patience and joy and more trust in God, and I can KNOW I will recieve it, because these are promises from God and I am called to pray for Him. He will be glorified as I grow in these attributes (among many others) and I am so thankful for His immeasurable grace to me.

I was singing Majesty with the Bible Study group on Saturday, and my heart was broken before God. I am so thankful for this. I have taken His grace and love for granted so often, and praised Him with only a small part of my heart, or even only sang the words without paying attention. He still has extended such a wretched sinner His grace, because Christ is glorified by displaying His mercy to me. Christ died a horrible death on the cross for such a terrible, ugly sinner, so that God could extend His mercy and extend to me eternity as a gift. I pray often that He will ever increase my delight and joy in Him. I hope this never ceases.

All glory be to my Savior, Redeemer, stronghold, fortress, salvation, hope, joy, love, peace, righteousness.. to the only Faithful One, Jesus Christ the Lord.