In 23 days my life will change completely. I am not sure what to do with that information. Seems still like it will never come.
I am excited for the wedding, and excited even more to finally be committed for the rest of my life to one man. I don't want to make the wedding bigger than the marriage at all. The marriage is rather longer.. the wedding is a day!
However, I do not enjoy all the social obligations of a wedding.. Inviting close friends, but also having to invite family and pick between other friends. I have a hard time feeling alright about that. I cannot maintain friendships with a whole bunch of people- only my closest friends will have my time and commitment. I wish I could do more, but I would be very worn out if I tried to maintain good friendships with a lot of people.
I love Jesus. He is my only hope, my life, my strength. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
That's it.
10.29.2008
I feel like I should write since I haven't in a while, but I don't know how much I really have to say.
This, This is most important. I hope everyone, myself included, makes time to think about these verses and what they mean...
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
Colossians 1:15-20
That's it
This, This is most important. I hope everyone, myself included, makes time to think about these verses and what they mean...
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
Colossians 1:15-20
That's it
10.24.2008
Reflections on Psalm 16
Keep in mind these are my reflections. If I am wrong, I need to be corrected. I do want to always dwell on the word and promises of God, because in it He extends His grace to me and provides me with hope, among other things.
1Preserve me, O God, for in you I(B) take refuge. 2I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
(C) I have no good apart from you."
Take refuge in the Lord. He is the safe place, and only there is full safety and preservation. Nothing else is capable.
There is nothing else good apart from the Lord. This means NOTHING. No thought, no person, no part of nature, no encouraging word is good apart from the YAHWEH. If it is not for Him, for His glory, it is apart from Him, and apart from His glory.
Keep in mind these are my reflections. If I am wrong, I need to be corrected. I do want to always dwell on the word and promises of God, because in it He extends His grace to me and provides me with hope, among other things.
1Preserve me, O God, for in you I(B) take refuge. 2I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
(C) I have no good apart from you."
Take refuge in the Lord. He is the safe place, and only there is full safety and preservation. Nothing else is capable.
There is nothing else good apart from the Lord. This means NOTHING. No thought, no person, no part of nature, no encouraging word is good apart from the YAHWEH. If it is not for Him, for His glory, it is apart from Him, and apart from His glory.
3As for(D) the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.[b]
Because our hearts have been changed to love this wonderful Savior, this love for Him overflows into love for the saints, which we love better and more fully then we love unbelievers. We delight to point them to their Savior, and as we do, the Holy Spirit may choose to remind each of us of the beauty of our Savior over again.
4The sorrows of those who run after[c] another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or(E) take their names on my lips.
Seeking after another God equals multiplying sorrows; no exceptions. This doesn't necessarily mean in this life, but for eternity in hell, the sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply. You can only serve God or money. This one true God, or "another god". There is no in between.
5The LORD is(F) my chosen portion and my(G) cup;
you hold my(H) lot.
6(I) The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
YAHWEH is Sovereign. He determines my portion, my lot. He holds what I most desire. I have been blessed mightily in this life by Him, and because of Christ I have a beautiful inheritance in eternity!
7I bless the LORD who(J) gives me counsel;
in(K) the night also my(L) heart instructs me.[d]
8(M) I have(N) set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my(O) right hand, I shall not be(P) shaken.
The Lord must be the one who gives me my most important counsel, not other people. His word, and His truth change my heart, so I can learn and grow in Him.
I have set the Lord always before me, so I always think on His truth and words, and then I will not be shaken, because I have put my trust in Him.
9Therefore my heart is glad, and my(Q) whole being[e] rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10For you will not abandon my soul to(R) Sheol,
(S) or let your(T) holy one see(U) corruption.[f]
My heart will be glad because Christ has not abandoned me to death and torment, because He went to the cross on behalf of my sins. Therefore I can rejoice and be glad because of what Christ has done. My whole life, everything I am must rejoice in this, and live out my hope.
11You make known to me(V) the path of life;
in your presence there is(W) fullness of joy;
at your right hand are(X) pleasures forevermore.
He has made known to me the path of life which is Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus Christ's perfect life and perfect sacrifice on behalf of my sins, I possess a New Covenant hope, which is "fullness of joy" in the presence of God. The true pleasures and true beauty are in the presence of God, and these are eternal, and infinitely valuable. He is most valuable and the most important treasure.
I am a sinner, and so undeserving of His grace, but my response needs to be to cry out to Christ for His mercy, and then trust His forgiveness, sufficiency and His promises.
May I always rejoice in You! Your grace is sufficient!
10.21.2008
The Gift
I was thinking this morning about two stuffed animals I'd gotten for the boys at work. At this moment, I don't know where those toys are, or if the boys even play with them anymore. This made me think about how many gifts and blessings my parents have given me that I don't even use or appreciate anymore. I have thanked them, and I am grateful, but the gifts themselves (some of them) mean nothing to me anymore. I give them away, or throw them away, and right then, I have forgotten the thought and love behind that gift.
One gift I do not want to ever forget is Christ on the cross at Calvary, because this is the greatest gift, with the greatest significance in history. It will never be irrelevant, and it will never fail to accomplish the purpose God planned in it - to redeem His chosen people by causing Christ to willingly pay for their sins by His death. In this must be my daily hope and trust. The One True God, Yahweh, who sent Jesus Christ to die a sinless death on behalf of us, sinners with hearts of stone, will accomplish what He has promised for us - eternity with Him (among other things, but definitely most important). How often I dishonor and despise this gift by my actions. When I sin, I am saying He is not sufficient for me, and my hope and joy in Him isn't enough when compared to the offerings of this world.
"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." Luke 9:23-26
I hope, by His grace, that I will never be ashamed of Jesus and His words, but will lose my life for His sake.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%203:21-26;&version=47;
This is His Gift. May we not forget.
One gift I do not want to ever forget is Christ on the cross at Calvary, because this is the greatest gift, with the greatest significance in history. It will never be irrelevant, and it will never fail to accomplish the purpose God planned in it - to redeem His chosen people by causing Christ to willingly pay for their sins by His death. In this must be my daily hope and trust. The One True God, Yahweh, who sent Jesus Christ to die a sinless death on behalf of us, sinners with hearts of stone, will accomplish what He has promised for us - eternity with Him (among other things, but definitely most important). How often I dishonor and despise this gift by my actions. When I sin, I am saying He is not sufficient for me, and my hope and joy in Him isn't enough when compared to the offerings of this world.
"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." Luke 9:23-26
I hope, by His grace, that I will never be ashamed of Jesus and His words, but will lose my life for His sake.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%203:21-26;&version=47;
This is His Gift. May we not forget.
10.20.2008
The Best Day in a long time
I so love my job. In what other profession could you get paid to read your Bible, listen to music and go shopping when you want to? I had a great day today, and I am so blessed by God. Although, even if I'd had a horrible day, I am still blessed beyond measure by my gracious Savior.
So, I got up early this morning to read my Bible, and felt like I had a hard time concentrating because I was so tired. I went to work, took Pearce to my house to get my Hebrews study guide, and then dropped him off at his music makers class. I had a full hour and 15 minutes to spend by myself. I enjoyed a hot earl grey tea misto, and completed the entire study. I read lots of the Bible references, and so appreciated the time where I didn't have to be distracted. I picked Pearce up and we went to Chinook to get some lunch. Didn't have the best choice there, but walked around with him. I sure enjoy my little friend. Pearce fell asleep on the way to get his brother from school, so I had 45 minutes or so to read my Bible again, and Piper's devotional for the day. I so appreciate the work other godly Christians have done so I can learn more about the Bible.
After picking Will up, we went back to their house and I folded laundry for the rest of the time, along with spending time with the boys. I got off work right at 501 and drove to spend time with my mom. I now get to spend time with my dad and DJ.
Above all, I have the secure hope of heaven found in Christ, because of His perfect sacrifice on the cross, and that is sufficient. He has fulfilled the law and offered the blood sacrifice in payment of my debt. May I never forget this great mercy. That is why I had the best day in a long time - Christ paid for my sins, and I have hope for eternity, and today I could think longer on this by studying and dwelling on His word. I can only hope and pray that Will, Pearce, and many others will find this same hope and joy in Christ.
1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
10.16.2008
Seems like every time I have something of note to write, I can't get to a computer! UGH!
I have so many thoughts running in and out of my head lately:
1. I'm not sure how to treat the boys I nanny sometimes, because I am easily more strict then their parents.
2. There are so many places I want to visit, and I don't actually make the effort to go often.. or I just can't make the effort.
3. I hope my friends know how much I care about them, even if I can't always spend the time with them.
4. I love children, and they bring me lots of joy, but sometimes I just wish I had my own instead of borrowing someone else's.
5. I have 51 days until I get married, and my life then will be rather different. Kind of excited about that...
6. It's so easy for me to say things about myself to elevate myself in other people's eyes.. I don't like that. I want to be honest and truthful, because "he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9. Therefore, I want to let others know my weaknesses and, above all, Christ's strength. Look! Look how wretched and pathetic I am! What a gracious God to reach into my dirty, unrepentant heart and take it out and give me a new one! I have been enabled by Christ to keep the New Covenant in His blood, because He was the perfect sacrifice, and He has given the Holy Spirit to work in my heart that I might long for the Father.
7. I really want to eat healthy, but I find I am frustrated because it seems rather impossible. I try at work to eat healthy, but since I eat the food that's there, I don't have a large amount of choice. At least now I am walking and moving a lot lately, so hopefully I can keep my weight the same at least until my wedding. However, I'm not just worried about my wedding; I want to keep a healthy weight and figure for a long time, so that means doing what I can to take good care of my body. I really need to start exercising regularly. I do walk and move lots at work, but I don't think that's exactly enough.
8. I want to learn so much more about the Bible and be careful what I put in my head throughout the day. I long for more diligence and hunger for Christ, because I feel sometimes like my spiritual fervor is lacking. However, I was reminded by talking with the women at Calvary Grace Bible Study last night, that I do need to remember that I must be content with Christ's timing, dwelling simply on Him and His promises, and thanking Him for what He has done in me already. I am so grateful for an encouraging and pushing Bible Study and Church. I long to be made more like Christ, and I am so thankful He is using His body to sharpen me and make me more like Him.
9. I talk a lot. Sometimes I wish I didn't.
10. I am nervous about talking with my boss today about the things I've mentioned to her about my pay. I was supposed to be paid yesterday, but she's waiting until we can talk about it. Grr. Then I might not be paid until tomorrow! Lord, give me grace and wisdom!
11. I really think I need to go play with Pearce. I sure enjoy spending time with him, so I better not take it for granted.
I have so many thoughts running in and out of my head lately:
1. I'm not sure how to treat the boys I nanny sometimes, because I am easily more strict then their parents.
2. There are so many places I want to visit, and I don't actually make the effort to go often.. or I just can't make the effort.
3. I hope my friends know how much I care about them, even if I can't always spend the time with them.
4. I love children, and they bring me lots of joy, but sometimes I just wish I had my own instead of borrowing someone else's.
5. I have 51 days until I get married, and my life then will be rather different. Kind of excited about that...
6. It's so easy for me to say things about myself to elevate myself in other people's eyes.. I don't like that. I want to be honest and truthful, because "he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9. Therefore, I want to let others know my weaknesses and, above all, Christ's strength. Look! Look how wretched and pathetic I am! What a gracious God to reach into my dirty, unrepentant heart and take it out and give me a new one! I have been enabled by Christ to keep the New Covenant in His blood, because He was the perfect sacrifice, and He has given the Holy Spirit to work in my heart that I might long for the Father.
7. I really want to eat healthy, but I find I am frustrated because it seems rather impossible. I try at work to eat healthy, but since I eat the food that's there, I don't have a large amount of choice. At least now I am walking and moving a lot lately, so hopefully I can keep my weight the same at least until my wedding. However, I'm not just worried about my wedding; I want to keep a healthy weight and figure for a long time, so that means doing what I can to take good care of my body. I really need to start exercising regularly. I do walk and move lots at work, but I don't think that's exactly enough.
8. I want to learn so much more about the Bible and be careful what I put in my head throughout the day. I long for more diligence and hunger for Christ, because I feel sometimes like my spiritual fervor is lacking. However, I was reminded by talking with the women at Calvary Grace Bible Study last night, that I do need to remember that I must be content with Christ's timing, dwelling simply on Him and His promises, and thanking Him for what He has done in me already. I am so grateful for an encouraging and pushing Bible Study and Church. I long to be made more like Christ, and I am so thankful He is using His body to sharpen me and make me more like Him.
9. I talk a lot. Sometimes I wish I didn't.
10. I am nervous about talking with my boss today about the things I've mentioned to her about my pay. I was supposed to be paid yesterday, but she's waiting until we can talk about it. Grr. Then I might not be paid until tomorrow! Lord, give me grace and wisdom!
11. I really think I need to go play with Pearce. I sure enjoy spending time with him, so I better not take it for granted.
10.14.2008
Here I am!
I have again joined the blogging world. Who knows what random things will leave my brain on here!
I love listening to music, and I love writing. I don't think I do much of either sometimes. I am scared to let people know I made this, because I don't exactly say the right things all that often! Maybe this can be an outlet for me, instead of pouring the entirety of my thoughts out on DJ! Somehow I think he might appreciate that ;)
I really love the Psalm I read this morning:
Psalm 9
1I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your(A) wonderful deeds.2I will be glad and(B) exult in you; I will(C) sing praise to your name,(D) O Most High.
3When my enemies turn back, they stumble and perish before[c] your presence.4For you have(E) maintained my just cause; you have(F) sat on the throne, giving righteous judgment.
5You have(G) rebuked the nations; you have made the wicked perish; you have(H) blotted out their name forever and ever.6The enemy came to an end in everlasting ruins; their cities you rooted out; the very memory of them has perished.
7But the LORD sits enthroned forever; he has established his throne for justice,8and he(I) judges the world with righteousness; he(J) judges the peoples with uprightness.
9The LORD is(K) a stronghold for(L) the oppressed, a stronghold in(M) times of trouble.10And those who(N) know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
11Sing praises to the LORD, who(O) sits enthroned in Zion! Tell among the peoples his(P) deeds!12For he who(Q) avenges blood is mindful of them; he(R) does not forget the cry of the afflicted.
13(S) Be gracious to me, O LORD! See my affliction from those who hate me, O you who lift me up from(T) the gates of death,14that I may recount all your praises, that in the gates of(U) the daughter of Zion I may(V) rejoice in your salvation.
15The nations have sunk in(W) the pit that they made; in(X) the net that they hid, their own foot has been caught.16The LORD has made himself(Y) known; he has executed judgment; the wicked are snared in the work of their own hands. Higgaion.[d] Selah
17The wicked shall(Z) return to Sheol, all the nations that(AA) forget God.
18For the needy shall not always be forgotten, and(AB) the hope of the poor shall not perish forever.
19(AC) Arise, O LORD! Let not(AD) man prevail; let the nations be judged before you!20Put them in fear, O LORD! Let the nations know that they are but(AE) men!
I want to sing and give thanks to the Lord for all, in all and through all. He has done many great things, and I want to tell others about Him as much as I can, and exalt Him with every fibre of my being. What a great God Yahweh is to work in my heart to desire Him in the first place!
"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25
I have so much more to learn, and I am so thankful God is bigger than I can imagine, and yet I can know Him because He has chosen to reveal Himself to me! Praise YAHWEH!
I love listening to music, and I love writing. I don't think I do much of either sometimes. I am scared to let people know I made this, because I don't exactly say the right things all that often! Maybe this can be an outlet for me, instead of pouring the entirety of my thoughts out on DJ! Somehow I think he might appreciate that ;)
I really love the Psalm I read this morning:
Psalm 9
1I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your(A) wonderful deeds.2I will be glad and(B) exult in you; I will(C) sing praise to your name,(D) O Most High.
3When my enemies turn back, they stumble and perish before[c] your presence.4For you have(E) maintained my just cause; you have(F) sat on the throne, giving righteous judgment.
5You have(G) rebuked the nations; you have made the wicked perish; you have(H) blotted out their name forever and ever.6The enemy came to an end in everlasting ruins; their cities you rooted out; the very memory of them has perished.
7But the LORD sits enthroned forever; he has established his throne for justice,8and he(I) judges the world with righteousness; he(J) judges the peoples with uprightness.
9The LORD is(K) a stronghold for(L) the oppressed, a stronghold in(M) times of trouble.10And those who(N) know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
11Sing praises to the LORD, who(O) sits enthroned in Zion! Tell among the peoples his(P) deeds!12For he who(Q) avenges blood is mindful of them; he(R) does not forget the cry of the afflicted.
13(S) Be gracious to me, O LORD! See my affliction from those who hate me, O you who lift me up from(T) the gates of death,14that I may recount all your praises, that in the gates of(U) the daughter of Zion I may(V) rejoice in your salvation.
15The nations have sunk in(W) the pit that they made; in(X) the net that they hid, their own foot has been caught.16The LORD has made himself(Y) known; he has executed judgment; the wicked are snared in the work of their own hands. Higgaion.[d] Selah
17The wicked shall(Z) return to Sheol, all the nations that(AA) forget God.
18For the needy shall not always be forgotten, and(AB) the hope of the poor shall not perish forever.
19(AC) Arise, O LORD! Let not(AD) man prevail; let the nations be judged before you!20Put them in fear, O LORD! Let the nations know that they are but(AE) men!
I want to sing and give thanks to the Lord for all, in all and through all. He has done many great things, and I want to tell others about Him as much as I can, and exalt Him with every fibre of my being. What a great God Yahweh is to work in my heart to desire Him in the first place!
"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25
I have so much more to learn, and I am so thankful God is bigger than I can imagine, and yet I can know Him because He has chosen to reveal Himself to me! Praise YAHWEH!
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